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Publication date: 28 February 2026
Dutton and Painter argue that this trauma bond helps explain why people can feel magnetised back to relationships that are objectively bad for them – because the mix of danger and affection is familiar, not because it is healthy.
We know where it broke, but we can’t see why. Was it a race condition? Did a database read return stale data that has since been overwritten? To find the cause, we have to mentally reconstruct the state of the world as it existed milliseconds before the crash. Welcome to debugging hell.